03.06.2019
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[IF], when your teenager is unkind, unpleasant, sarcastic, rebellious, even belligerent or totally self-focused - Why do they do that? Because they can. Because somewhere along the line, someone – even you - has failed to administer or deliver the consequences for crappy behaviors. They “got away with it” – sometimes multiple times. Why do they do that? Because they're crying out inside. Because inside their head, there’s turmoil, pain, inadequacy, poor or weak self-esteem. And the cause is so undiscernible, they're trying to reach out and accuse everybody and everything for it and you're their primary target. So the big question becomes - what will you and can you do? Here are some options to seriously consider - even if they’re painful and extremely unlike you?! If you’ve lost control, it’s been coming for some time.  It didn’t happen overnight, and won’ fix it overnight. Don’t give them what they want – usually an emotional reply from you.  Reply in a quiet, unemotional manner. Ask them why they’d speak to you that way - quiet, unemotional. Do not reward the behavior by complying with their request Offer one or more options – either reducing their request or delaying it, or even rejecting it completely – again – WITHOUT EMOTION. Reply emphatically, strongly, without emotion. In an hour or more or even day or more, come back and – gently re-surface the request or the way in which it was said. Don’t be afraid to allow the consequences of their [bad] choices occur.  Learning is IMPERATIVE – help it or allow it to occur. Without sermonizing, when you see/ hear pleasant replies or actions, compliment them, specifically. When the time is right [could be days or more], discuss [dialogue, not monologue] – (o) why they reacted or replied like that, (o) how it made you feel, (o) how it made them look, and that, (o) in the future, “there’s a better way.” STAY CALM, PERSISTENT, PATIENT, LOVING.   
22.05.2019
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Two of the most powerful elements of success for your teenager are time management and visualizing success.  Below are links for those two learning modules from Launch-Your-Life, teen success coaching - No strings, no charges, no shipping and handling. We’re here for one reason only: to assist you in strengthening your teen’s success.  It’s our only purpose. Visualization:  https://launch-your-life.teachable.com/p/visualization-seeing-success When you can SEE it, it’s far more motivating!! Time Management: https://launch-your-life.teachable.com/p/time-management-maximization  
20.05.2019
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My doctor told me I should ice-pack my knees every night, to lessen the pain. I asked “every night?,” to which he replied “do you use them every day?” [obviously, YES!] Almost the same thing goes on with your teenager: unless they’re perfect [ 😁], your teen ‘needs’ continuing development EVERY DAY. Does it get boring for them [or you!]? Yes – but it’s a lot like self-discipline – if you let it slip, you’ll soon be lethargic and uncomfortable, etc. Whether it’s attitude, academics, self-motivation, whatever it is RIGHT NOW that needs to strengthen – strive to NOTICE, encourage, and support their “mini-advances” each day. Make it positive! Research shows that a negative comment has SIX TIMES the impact as a positive one. If you critique or criticize, they’ll carry that thought into the day. Don’t lecture or sermonize. We like the expression “MAKE it a great day!” That puts a slight onus of responsibility on them. Probably don’t ‘remind’ them – that usually comes too close to lecturing or sermonizing. You COULD remind them of their impending greatness!  And try to VARY what you say – make it almost unpredictable – and it’ll have greater impact! Go for it, you ole motivational speaker!!     
Below are two hugely powerful learnings, prerequisite for your teenager’s success!! We’re here for one reason only: to assist you in strengthening your teen’s success.  It’s our only purpose. We don’t say that because you are inadequate as a parent, but rather to coach your parenting, exactly like any good SPORTS or ACTING COACH or the like. We gathered a team of experts who researched and identified the biggest challenges parents face in growing successful teenagers. To assist you in coaching the most valuable things your teenager needs, here are two FREE modules for you and s/he to use and apply: Visualization:           https://launch-your-life.teachable.com/p/visualization-seeing-success When you can SEE it, it’s far more motivating!! Time Management: https://launch-your-life.teachable.com/p/time-management-maximization Managing time is the first, powerful step toward self-discipline! And of course, with questions, email us at CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com.    
15.05.2019
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  "Parents [values] in that college admissions scandal completely missed the mark." "Young people in today’s workforce don’t know what to do when they fail – greatly diminishes their value to their employer." https://wnyt.com/news/understanding-failure-/5350120/?cat=12168 
13.05.2019
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There’s a great quote from Zig Ziglar, now-deceased, world-renowned motivational speaker –  “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.” Each morning, remind yourself that, despite the possible unpleasantness or ‘attitude’ or six other unkind reactions you heard from them last night, there are hormones pulsing through their bodies that scientists don’t even fully understand, let alone them – and “invest” a moment in gifting - re-motivating your teen – with love, respect, belief, confidence… It will one day pay great rewards – to them and to you.
07.05.2019
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This year, I had a major revelation: after believing for 30+ years that I dislike coconut, I tried some – and discovered – it’s OK!!  My point? For an encyclopedia of reasons, we make decisions based on what was then fact, or maybe mis-perception – or lousy cooking.  I had a familial grandmother who made something one Christmas that was horrible!  The rest of the world loved it – but not me.  After much urging, years later, I tried SOMEONE ELSE’S – it was delicious! Again, my point? I see so much verbiage these days about teens “finding their thing!” – and “Mom, what if I don’t find my thing?”  They’re actually WORRIED!  Give it a break!  Encourage them to try things, NOT like them, and move on. Or like them and make it a life’s hobby or even a career!  I’ve never had any desire to be a hairdresser – but I’m fascinated by what they do and how they do it! Be very clear – what you like now may change TOMORROW!  Career statistics now tell us that the average person may have EIGHT DIFFERENT careers, not just jobs, in their lifetime. Encourage your teens to explore, find out, exceed or ignore their friend’s attempts to influence them away or even toward something.   Oh, one more thing: don’t always make it an intellectual exercise [that’s my weakness].  If they didn’t like it! Fine – walk away, life goes on!  No reflection or discussion needed!!
29.04.2019
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As many extremely important lessons for teens as there are, here’s another great, daily question to build into your greatest teenager ever: each day, every day, value what he or she has done – then, ask them to set a new, improved goal. Could be homework [classes], sports, their room, family cooperation [boy, that’s a glorious one, isn’t it?] - whatever your/ his/ her focus could or should be.  (1) First, acknowledge and compliment what they did recently;  (2) ask them, if they had it to do over, how they would do it differently or better. [as needed, help them, gently] Often, you will hear – “nothing, it was fine.”  But remember – like a long-ago Italian stonemason, you’re building a great cathedral – your teen… And chipping away the rough edges takes time and patience. Inserting that question into their thinking may take time, but approached positively, supportively and regularly, it WILL happen. [believe me, I’ve been there – I was the stone]. Change is possible if not required!!  Enhance it!! BTW, this question is a cousin to “what will you do today that you’ll be proud of?”
25.04.2019
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By engaging him or her toward THEIR dream goal, EVERYTHING else falls into place: Experience with MANY teenagers has SHOWN that, when they’re pursuing THEIR dream goal: ·        Motivation increases ·        Focus improves ·        Discipline strengthens ·        Homework becomes more personally important. The list could go on – but you get the idea. So the challenge becomes – how to get them to identify and set their DREAM GOAL? Despite your possible doubt, it is A FACT that all human beings [including your teen] are inherently motivated. Are there confounding factors? Yes. Could be things like hormonal or body chemistry changes or shifts, emotional swings due to interpersonal or dating issues – which may seem small, small, small to you or me – but to them, their world hinges on it… And of course, the usual – past habits of minimal motivation, doing too much for them, giving them too much, etc.  But even those can be overcome by the steps below. I fully expect that many readers will say – “yeah, that may be for those other teens – but mine is different.”  BUNK.  Open your eyes and your mind. Basic issue: an underachiever is someone achieving below their potential.  THEY HAVE POTENTIAL – you simply may not have figured out how to tap it yet. To get them dreaming, we have several tools we can share with you – just message me. Lou Holtz - very famous football coach, says, “If you’re bored with life [it’s because] – you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals.” Bottom line?  NO GOAL, NO GLORY! LAST THOUGHT: recognize, even assume – that their dream goal may change.  THAT’S OK.  In fact, it’s the process that’s most important and valuable.
23.04.2019
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If you read content here that ‘sounds good’ – and you DO NOTHING with it, it’s USELESS.  I’ve been in the “success” field for 30 years. Know why so many people make so much money in it?  BECAUSE PEOPLE DON’T USE IT – so they keep coming back for more – WHICH THEY DON’T USE!!! The simplest solution is – SIMPLY – do something different, no matter how small, every day. Got that? No matter how small!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONCE YOU GET IN THE HABIT OF THAT one micro-step each day – and compliment yourself for it – you will build momentum AND your own positive expectancy!! Want to add to it, make it more powerful?  TRACK IT – with a small chart, on the refrigerator. You don’t have to tell anyone what it is – just a mark – each day. YOU WILL GROW! NOW, imagine doing the same or similar with your teenager!  And watch him/her grow!!  It’s GUARANTEED!  [you are HERE because you’re trying to better parent your teen, aren’t you?] You’ve probably heard all the old expressions: ·        “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” ·        “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!” ·        “We’re all either green and growing or ripe and rotting – there’s NO PLATEAU.” Do something very small – today, tomorrow - and beyond – and if you’d like, PM me for support or to brag!!
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