NO ONE I know LIKES DISCIPLINE – and yet, it’s acknowledged as one of the most crucial, core elements of ALL success – whether it’s basketball, gymnastics [love that Simone Biles? Imagine the hours she’s spent in the gym practicing over and over and over.!] – or business and professional.
In business and in sales – the best performers and achievers spend many hours thinking, prepping and practicing/ rehearsing. I had a surgery a few years ago – I asked the dr. how many times he’d done this kind… he replied “about 800” That gave me even greater confidence and trust!
We all look up to champions – admire them – but when it comes to putting in the time and the repetitions in our chosen field, 92% of people drop out.
One of the most powerful traits you can build into your teen is the habit of self-discipline!! But then, you – and they – will soon and quickly hit the BOREDOM problem. Doing a million sit-ups just gets boring!! It’s been said that it takes 10,000 repetitions to master anything. NOT TRUE – although it’s probably close. The source who came up with this concept explains that it came from a less scientific and precise measurement. So 10,000 reps is not gospel – but you get the idea!
Want to know how to overcome the boredom factor and make discipline and repetition MORE ENJOYABLE and ENTERTAINING?
5 WAYS to STRENGTHEN, BUILD YOUR TEEN’S SELF-DISCIPLINE:
1. Visualize 2 things: (1) the end result benefit fulfilled; (2) performing the repetitions WITH A SMILE!
2. Remind yourself of the benefit gained through this discipline [also gets boring after the 15th time]
3. Refrigerator chart, tracking daily performance [even/ also good for parents!!]
4. A supportive partner [NOT a critical one]
5. Identify and focus on “Finer, finer levels of detail” - drawn from the work of FLOW, the Psychology of Optimal Experience
• getting a little bit better – measurably(!) each time
• – each set or each day or each week, etc.
• – gives the user something to target and go after,
• Engages his/her mindset more actively
And if they fall short, such as (o) only 8 of 10 reps or (o) 20 of 30 minutes homework or studying or similar, give them positive credit – don’t criticize. THEY KNOW when they fell short – you should emphasize the positive!
And if you’d like to know more about our teen success coaching programs to build improved discipline and other success traits, applicable for ALL teens, regardless of current level of achieving – or not – contact us at CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com
"We really focused on
working together because we know that we don't have the size we did last
year." These are quotes from a high
school athlete and team leader. These are the lessons of high school sports –
worth learning, practicing and applying THROUGHOUT life.
Get your teen involved, if
s/he fits or desires. Of course you can’t force your teen into something they
dislike or disdain – but encourage or influence your teen – or find another/
different option or opportunity to learn these life skills – beyond the
I was on football and track
teams – and still have recollections and friendships from those days – and the
only things we remember were the good things!
One other excellent option is
With total respect for other
school activities, these two develop life-long skills and traits – while most
Both sports and theater require
try-outs, possible rejection, not being ‘the star,’ learning to be a supporting
character or role, persevering, advancing/ growing into a larger, more
important role – most of which are simply not available to be learned in the
Are there harsh, even
unwanted, unfair lessons they might learn?
Unfair coaches, policies, etc.
Yes – but that also is a life lesson, leading to the need to build
RESILIENCE – rebounding from and overcoming even unfair defeats.
If you’d like to discuss – or
even learn more about our success coaching programs for teens, email me at CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com!
Pair-a-dime [20 cents]? Speak English, stop
with the fancy words!!
loved the word Paradigm since high school. We had a math teacher whom we learned to appreciate. He introduced us to the word paradigm LONG
before the rest of the world began using it [no, I won’t say how old I am]. But it’s been a recurring and enlightening word
and concept in my work and learning experience ’lo these many years. And here’s why that’s important to YOU!
paradigm is the framework within which we interpret and understand our world.
In math, we usually use base 10 as our paradigm for counting [1-10]. In computer programing, it’s two: ON/ OFF or
YES/ NO. In the US, we speak English –
in the UK, they speak English – but it’s different!
word Paradigm has so much explanatory meaning in so many areas. One of
the secrets of changing or improving ANYTHING is to look at it from a different
perspective - a new paradigm. For example, humor is funny because the comedian
changes the expected Paradigm - the punchline – against YOUR expectation.
exactly the same way, your teenager does things that make no sense to you - or
worse! And yet if you try, struggle, change your perspective, see it from their
paradigm - you will almost always walk away highly informed and illuminated!
the work of Carol Dweck [‘MINDSET’] – she moved us away from the belief that – “if
I didn’t learn it the first time, I can’t” toward a different paradigm - “I haven’t
learned it YET – but I will!”
One of the paradigms I see
referenced CONSTANTLY regarding teens is “I told him to do (something) - and he
didn’t do it – and now look where he is [or isn’t].”
Think about that paradigm for
a minute: “I TOLD him.” And it didn’t
work! How much longer are you going to TELL,
TELL, TELL – when it isn’t working – until YOU change your paradigm?
I’ve said it before – here it
Wouldn’t it be great to
UNDERSTAND their thinking? How do ya
think you might find that out? What if you
ASKED a QUESTION!?
To enhance, accelerate and strengthen
your understanding of your teen, ask a question or two – unbiased, not challenging
– just wondering – to better understand their thoughts and thinking!! You WILL be enlightened!!
If you want or hope to breed
a teenager who THINKS, why shut him/ her down when they DO think? ASK a question: “What do you mean? I don’t understand
– help me to see what you’re thinking – explain, please.”
Then, use one of the most powerful
communication skills we’ve got: LISTEN!
On a different paradigm-shift topic: CREATIVITY: as you consider the possibility of your teen
advancing up the ladder of success throughout life, be ASSURED that one of the
most fundamental and powerful traits is creativity. Doing something better, faster, more
efficiently - or inventing something new are the things that will speed his/her
trip ‘up the ladder’ - - and they’re ALL instances of creativity.
And what IS creativity? It’s establishing or opening a NEW PARADIGM. Creativity is defined as two or more ideas
not previously combined, connected, blended, considered together.
FYI – the classic creativity/
new paradigm question is “WHY NOT?”
Bottom line? Until life is perfect, Change is needed. And change necessitates new paradigms.
TEEN Success Simplified - Rockin’ Your Teen’s Success!
That’s our goal and we do it SIMPLY and easily
when your teenager is unkind, unpleasant, sarcastic, rebellious, even belligerent
or totally self-focused - Why do they do that?
somewhere along the line, someone – even
you - has failed to administer or deliver the consequences for crappy behaviors.
They “got away with it” – sometimes multiple times.
do they do that?
they're crying out inside.
inside their head, there’s turmoil, pain, inadequacy, poor or weak self-esteem.
the cause is so undiscernible, they're trying to reach out and accuse everybody
and everything for it and you're their primary target.
the big question becomes - what will you and can you do?
are some options to seriously consider - even if they’re painful and extremely
lost control, it’s been coming for
some time. It didn’t happen
overnight, and won’ fix it overnight.
give them what they want – usually an emotional reply from you. Reply in a quiet, unemotional manner.
them why they’d speak to you that way - quiet, unemotional.
reward the behavior by complying with their request
one or more options – either reducing their request or delaying it, or even rejecting
it completely – again – WITHOUT EMOTION.
emphatically, strongly, without emotion.
hour or more or even day or more, come back and – gently re-surface the request
or the way in which it was said.
be afraid to allow the consequences of their [bad] choices occur. Learning is IMPERATIVE – help it or allow it
sermonizing, when you see/ hear pleasant replies or actions, compliment them,
the time is right [could be days or more], discuss [dialogue, not monologue] – (o)
why they reacted or replied like that, (o) how it made you feel, (o) how it
made them look, and that, (o) in the future, “there’s a better way.”
STAY CALM, PERSISTENT, PATIENT, LOVING.
Two of the most powerful elements
of success for your teenager are time management and visualizing success. Below are links for those two learning
modules from Launch-Your-Life, teen success coaching - No strings, no charges,
no shipping and handling.
here for one reason only: to assist you in strengthening your teen’s success.
It’s our only purpose.
you can SEE it, it’s far more motivating!!
My doctor told me I should ice-pack my knees every night, to lessen the pain. I asked “every night?,” to which he replied “do you use them every day?” [obviously, YES!]
Almost the same thing goes on with your teenager: unless they’re perfect [ 😁], your teen ‘needs’ continuing development EVERY DAY.
Does it get boring for them [or you!]? Yes – but it’s a lot like self-discipline – if you let it slip, you’ll soon be lethargic and uncomfortable, etc.
Whether it’s attitude, academics, self-motivation, whatever it is RIGHT NOW that needs to strengthen – strive to NOTICE, encourage, and support their “mini-advances” each day.
Make it positive! Research shows that a negative comment has SIX TIMES the impact as a positive one. If you critique or criticize, they’ll carry that thought into the day.
Don’t lecture or sermonize. We like the expression “MAKE it a great day!” That puts a slight onus of responsibility on them.
Probably don’t ‘remind’ them – that usually comes too close to lecturing or sermonizing.
You COULD remind them of their impending greatness!
And try to VARY what you say – make it almost unpredictable – and it’ll have greater impact!
Go for it, you ole motivational speaker!!
Below are two hugely powerful
learnings, prerequisite for your teenager’s success!!
We’re here for one reason
only: to assist you in strengthening your teen’s success. It’s our only purpose.
We don’t say that because you
are inadequate as a parent, but rather to coach your parenting, exactly like any
good SPORTS or ACTING COACH or the like.
We gathered a team of experts who researched and identified
the biggest challenges parents face in growing successful teenagers.
To assist you in coaching the most valuable things your
teenager needs, here are two FREE modules for you and s/he to use and apply:
When you can SEE it, it’s far more motivating!!
Time Management: https://launch-your-life.teachable.com/p/time-management-maximization
Managing time is the first, powerful step toward
And of course, with
questions, email us at CoachSteve@Launch-Your-Life.com.
"Parents [values] in that
college admissions scandal completely missed the mark."
"Young people in today’s
workforce don’t know what to do when they fail – greatly diminishes their value
to their employer."
There’s a great quote from Zig Ziglar,
now-deceased, world-renowned motivational speaker –
often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why
we recommend it daily.”
morning, remind yourself that, despite the possible unpleasantness or ‘attitude’ or six other unkind reactions you heard
from them last night, there are hormones pulsing through their bodies that
scientists don’t even fully understand, let alone them – and “invest” a moment in gifting - re-motivating
your teen – with love, respect, belief,
confidence… It will one day pay great rewards – to them and to you.
This year, I had a major revelation:
after believing for 30+ years that I dislike coconut, I tried some – and discovered
– it’s OK!!
My point? For an encyclopedia
of reasons, we make decisions based on what was then fact, or maybe mis-perception
– or lousy cooking. I had a familial
grandmother who made something one Christmas that was horrible! The rest of the world loved it – but not
me. After much urging, years later, I tried
SOMEONE ELSE’S – it was delicious!
Again, my point? I see so
much verbiage these days about teens “finding their thing!” – and “Mom, what if
I don’t find my thing?” They’re actually
Give it a break! Encourage them to try things, NOT like them,
and move on. Or like them and make it a life’s hobby or even a career! I’ve never had any desire to be a hairdresser
– but I’m fascinated by what they do and how they do it!
Be very clear – what you like
now may change TOMORROW! Career statistics
now tell us that the average person may have EIGHT DIFFERENT careers, not just
jobs, in their lifetime.
Encourage your teens to
explore, find out, exceed or ignore their friend’s attempts to influence them
away or even toward something.
Oh, one more thing: don’t always
make it an intellectual exercise [that’s my weakness]. If they didn’t like it! Fine – walk away,
life goes on! No reflection or discussion